FREE FIELD GUIDE
Before you change the pattern, you have to be able to see it.
start here
The Self-Abandonment Field Guide helps you recognize six common patterns of shrinking, and understand why they can feel so normal.
No dramatic reinvention required.
Just a clearer view of where you’ve been overriding yourself.
Free PDF delivered straight to your inbox.
IT DOESN’T ALWAYS LOOK LIKE SELF-ABANDONMENT
Sometimes it looks like being reasonable.
Keeping the peace.
Picking your battles.
Softening what you really mean.
Managing someone else’s reaction.
Deciding it’s easier to let it go.
You can get so good at adapting that eventually, it just feels like your personality.
This guide helps you start seeing the difference.
INSIDE THE FIELD GUIDE
Six patterns you may have mistaken for normal.
Learn to recognize where you:
✓ Override your own reactions
✓ Edit your needs to avoid discomfort
✓ Take responsibility for other people’s feelings
✓ Second-guess what you know
✓ Adapt yourself to preserve connection
✓ Lose sight of what you actually want
And begin exploring what those patterns have been trying to protect.
WHY I MADE THIS
I spent a long time understanding my patterns without realizing how often I was still overriding myself.
I didn’t need to blindly trust every reaction.
I needed to stop automatically dismissing it.
That distinction changed everything.
I created this guide to help you start noticing those moments too, before you explain them away.
Leah Van King
A GOOD PLACE TO BEGIN
You can’t change a pattern you keep mistaking for normal.
Start by seeing it.
The Self-Abandonment Field Guide is free.
We'll send it straight to your inbox.